I’m at the age that I’m starting to wonder the same thing. I don’t want to be a sommelier, but I have other passions besides my profession, and I’m starting to think about when to make that transition away from work to my main avocation.....or maybe to something else. I can feel it’s starting to be time.
You’ve already achieved all sorts of success above and beyond being a Doctor. You’re an author, successful YouTuber/ influencer, public speaker, etc.
You don’t want to be a sommelier.
You want to be a Dad.
At least, that’s what it sounds like to me.
I just don’t think becoming a highfalutin alcohol salesman will do anything to contribute to that ‘I can die now’ feeling because ‘I’ve had a complete, meaningful and fulfilling life’. Raising a child does. It tops the list. I’ve done all sorts of things in my life, achieved goals I thought were a big deal at the time, but I’d trade it all in; if I had to pick and choose in retrospect. The reason is because, you can’t know love until you have a child. Not the kind of love that matures you; knocks out the last bits of narcissism you didn’t know you have. Continual sacrifice. That’s how you get it. The, stick a fork in me, I’m done. I’ve become my best self.
I'm blessed. I've lived Frost's poem of vocation and avocation becoming one. But some professions need to rise above the 'mental health day/work life balance" Pilots need to be singularly focused. Combat Arms (Infantry, Armor et al) need to be singularly focused. And doctors need to be singularly focused. Too much rides on the outcome if it's just one of many things to be focused on. But here we are....we now live in a time where LOSING is celebrated. Sure, you don't have to be BERATED for losing, but neither should you be celebrated for giving up.
You sure do make us think, Vinay! I was so busy between 30 and 50, I wondered if I had any passions. All of my time was Work/Mom, rinse/repeat. I feel insanely lucky after reflecting on your words and reading other comments. Now with two successful 20-somethings, coming up on 30 yrs of marriage, 20 yr lymphoma survivor, pharma peon to pharma exec to early retirement, yogi, and a newfound hobby-turned-passion - jewelry design, crafting and even more exciting, metalsmithing. I am taking the attitude that I have no idea where I am going with this, but I love that I'm learning. Same as medicine and wine making, it's a thousands-year craft dating back to the Egyptians and beyond. Adornments aren't going away. The stones and minerals were medicine way way back. I was a bit nervous about retirement, but here I am. Stay open to it ALL, y'all!
I spent a lot of years not being a sommelier of anything. I juggled being a mom and a nurse to the point where one or the other was suffering and I wasn't doing a really good job at either. When my kids were little I was mom. Later I tried to split my life and be the best nurse and mom I could be. To be a sommelier at one meant I had to sacrifice the other. Now that I'm retired I don't have to sacrifice either. I'm a nurse focused, driven, learning, growing, doing a really, really good job. I'm a mom and can be with an adult child or grandchildren at the drop of a hat. I can pour myself into that role and do a great job. It's called PRN. And it's not only the gift of retirement, it's that I've lived long enough to gather the nuances I didn't pay attention to when I was younger. Patience. Learning. Wisdom. Watching. Listening. Experience.
I love wine. It’s a beautiful art and craft. It’s complex but simple. I love surgery. It’s like a symphony when it’s performed well. I love science because it attempts to solve the hardest questions we face in medicine.
Let’s see...emergency medicine, flying, flying R/C planes, wellness, wine, Buddhism, Stoicism, emotional growth, motorcycles, and snowboarding, astronomy and telescopes, learning to raise other people’s children, and becoming less narcissistic; life is beautiful and fascinating and I’m not ashamed to say I want competence in so many areas. And at the same time knowing the finitude of life and being at peace with the face that I can’t learn it all. It’s awesome and a bit disappointing. Thank you Vinay for a great little succinct essay. So enjoyable to read.
If I lived 1000 years or more, I'd never run out of things I'd want to be.
I’m at the age that I’m starting to wonder the same thing. I don’t want to be a sommelier, but I have other passions besides my profession, and I’m starting to think about when to make that transition away from work to my main avocation.....or maybe to something else. I can feel it’s starting to be time.
I'm making that transition this year, but I still reconsider every once in a while.
Having children will change everything
It's ok if you want to be child free !!!
Vinay,
You’ve already achieved all sorts of success above and beyond being a Doctor. You’re an author, successful YouTuber/ influencer, public speaker, etc.
You don’t want to be a sommelier.
You want to be a Dad.
At least, that’s what it sounds like to me.
I just don’t think becoming a highfalutin alcohol salesman will do anything to contribute to that ‘I can die now’ feeling because ‘I’ve had a complete, meaningful and fulfilling life’. Raising a child does. It tops the list. I’ve done all sorts of things in my life, achieved goals I thought were a big deal at the time, but I’d trade it all in; if I had to pick and choose in retrospect. The reason is because, you can’t know love until you have a child. Not the kind of love that matures you; knocks out the last bits of narcissism you didn’t know you have. Continual sacrifice. That’s how you get it. The, stick a fork in me, I’m done. I’ve become my best self.
.
I'm blessed. I've lived Frost's poem of vocation and avocation becoming one. But some professions need to rise above the 'mental health day/work life balance" Pilots need to be singularly focused. Combat Arms (Infantry, Armor et al) need to be singularly focused. And doctors need to be singularly focused. Too much rides on the outcome if it's just one of many things to be focused on. But here we are....we now live in a time where LOSING is celebrated. Sure, you don't have to be BERATED for losing, but neither should you be celebrated for giving up.
You sure do make us think, Vinay! I was so busy between 30 and 50, I wondered if I had any passions. All of my time was Work/Mom, rinse/repeat. I feel insanely lucky after reflecting on your words and reading other comments. Now with two successful 20-somethings, coming up on 30 yrs of marriage, 20 yr lymphoma survivor, pharma peon to pharma exec to early retirement, yogi, and a newfound hobby-turned-passion - jewelry design, crafting and even more exciting, metalsmithing. I am taking the attitude that I have no idea where I am going with this, but I love that I'm learning. Same as medicine and wine making, it's a thousands-year craft dating back to the Egyptians and beyond. Adornments aren't going away. The stones and minerals were medicine way way back. I was a bit nervous about retirement, but here I am. Stay open to it ALL, y'all!
I spent a lot of years not being a sommelier of anything. I juggled being a mom and a nurse to the point where one or the other was suffering and I wasn't doing a really good job at either. When my kids were little I was mom. Later I tried to split my life and be the best nurse and mom I could be. To be a sommelier at one meant I had to sacrifice the other. Now that I'm retired I don't have to sacrifice either. I'm a nurse focused, driven, learning, growing, doing a really, really good job. I'm a mom and can be with an adult child or grandchildren at the drop of a hat. I can pour myself into that role and do a great job. It's called PRN. And it's not only the gift of retirement, it's that I've lived long enough to gather the nuances I didn't pay attention to when I was younger. Patience. Learning. Wisdom. Watching. Listening. Experience.
I love wine. It’s a beautiful art and craft. It’s complex but simple. I love surgery. It’s like a symphony when it’s performed well. I love science because it attempts to solve the hardest questions we face in medicine.
Brilliant
I really appreciate your curiosity and reflection, Dr. Prasad. As always, thank you so much!
Fun to read this!
Let’s see...emergency medicine, flying, flying R/C planes, wellness, wine, Buddhism, Stoicism, emotional growth, motorcycles, and snowboarding, astronomy and telescopes, learning to raise other people’s children, and becoming less narcissistic; life is beautiful and fascinating and I’m not ashamed to say I want competence in so many areas. And at the same time knowing the finitude of life and being at peace with the face that I can’t learn it all. It’s awesome and a bit disappointing. Thank you Vinay for a great little succinct essay. So enjoyable to read.
Guitar and writing, for me. I love music theory, and I love making people laugh with the written word. But, damn...I do love wine.